Church Calling

The day after we got back from Shelby’s wedding, I had to teach relief society.  I am the second Sunday teacher and I must say I would rather teach 500 teenagers.  I don’t know why that is, but I am scared to death every time I teach.  I feel so inadequate to be teaching such amazing people and I know for a fact the lessons are really for me.  I have only taught 3 times and don’t get me wrong, I love having a church calling I only have to do once a month.  However, the preparation for my once a month calling is much more than I would have ever imagined.  One of these times I would really like to record my lesson and listen to it back to make sure it even makes sense.  There are many sweet people every time I teach that tell me that I did a good job, or that the lesson was good.  And this time my bishop’s sweet wife even said something about it on facebook.  So, I have to be doing something right, right?  I have realized in teaching these lessons that the spirit does have me teach what I need to teach.  I print the lesson out, heaven forbid my book closes while I am teaching, and I move the questions up to the section where they need to be and I go from there.  Some things I have thought about all month that I really want to say, I don’t end up saying and sometimes I say things I hadn’t planned on saying at all.  So, I know I have extra help teaching these lessons.  I am super thankful too for those sweet sisters who comment.
My lesson last week was on the Plan of Salvation and included some on the Atonement too.  It talked about reflecting on why the plan of salvation was so important to us and also the Atonement. One thing I think about often are the babies I miscarried and also meeting my sister Jalyn.  I found some information in an Ensign about miscarriage and it said,
“Though our knowledge of the plan of salvation does not explain why miscarriages and stillbirths take place, nor what the eternal result will be, we can know with confidence that God, who is the father of all spirits, is merciful and just. We can know also that there is hope. Worthy parents can trust in him and know that they and all his spirit children will—one way or another—receive a just reward for their efforts and sacrifice, perhaps in ways that we do not presently comprehend.”
I really am thankful for my calling and I know without a doubt that these lessons are for me and this is the way that Heavenly Father is making me listen to what is said. 
I read a lot of other people’s blogs, I started doing this because I thought oh look at these people, their lives are much worse than mine.  Thinking I should stop feeling sorry for myself and my trials.  Since starting to teach, I have realized that these people’s trials are different than mine.  I know without a doubt I couldn’t handle some of the things these women go through and I know they couldn’t handle what I have been through or go through.  We each have our own internal struggles and nobody knows how those affect us except for us and our Heavenly Father.  We just need to focus on what we are doing and make sure we are doing our best, because really that is all we can do.