Ray's Stake Conference Talk

 Ray spoke in Stake Conference last week (its a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints semi annual meeting). I have had several people ask if we have a copy of his talk, so it is in this post. Enjoy.

Good evening.  When President Wells asked me to speak he asked me to study the recent talk given by Relief Society General President Camille N. Johnson at BYU Women’s Conference, and I have to admit her message really hit home. Janel and I wrote this talk together because it has been so hard and it brings up so many raw emotions, so please bear with me as I try to share with you how I turned to Jesus Christ and Priesthood power to get through terribly difficult circumstances. Sister Johnson didn't sugarcoat the realities of our mortal experience. She said: “Life is hard. You can do hard things with Jesus, or you can go at it alone... But when you do hard things with Jesus Christ, the hard times become holy.”

I come before you today as a witness that this principle is true. If you know our family you know the last 4 years have been really hard. It started in 2022 with me having a faith crisis and learning the true meaning of repentance and forgiveness. In 2023 my father-in-law passed away from cancer and his death had a profound impact on me and my family. In 2024 our oldest daughter Jerika suffered a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, the doctor told us she most likely would not live and was on a ventilator in the ICU for 3 days and a total of 6 days in the hospital, but she recovered and is pregnant now, which is a miracle.

In November of last year our family entered a storm we never saw coming or even imagined in our worst nightmares. Our 25 year old daughter, Kinlee, suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and went without oxygen to her brain for 22 minutes. She was in Mexico at the time and we had to navigate getting her back to the United States and then getting her closer to home. She had to relearn everything after she woke up from her coma. She was basically just like a baby that could talk. She had to learn to walk, talk and everything else you teach babies and small children. She didn’t even know who any of us were.

For three agonizing months, the hospital became our home as she fought for her life. There were moments when she was so close to the veil that we could feel the breath of eternity in the room. Even now, the acute crisis has passed, but the trial has not ended. Our daily life is now defined by the intense, consuming reality of taking care of her and navigating her recovery.

In the quiet, heavy hours by her hospital bed, and now in the exhausting routine of caregiving at home, I have had to look at President Johnson’s question squarely in the face: How do we invite Jesus Christ into our struggles?

President Johnson suggested that we don't need to add more to our spiritual to-do lists. Instead, she said to do more with what we are already doing. Two areas she focused on have become the literal lifeline holding my family together: prayer and worship.

She recalled counsel given by President Jeffrey R. Holland after his own near-death experience. His message to the Church was simple: “Pray more than you pray... However much you’ve prayed, pray more.”

Before Kinlee’s cardiac arrest, I had what I considered good prayer habits. But crisis strips away the luxury of casual, routine prayers. My prayers could no longer be a polite monologue of daily activities. They became what President Nelson called a “living discussion” with my Heavenly Father.

When you are watching your child fight for every breath, your prayers become passionate, purposeful, and honest. I have poured out my deepest fears, my raw exhaustion, and my heartbreak on my knees. And in return, the Savior did not instantly remove the hardship—but He entered the struggle with us.

The second shift has been in how we view our worship, particularly the sacrament. While Kinlee was at the University of Utah we had the opportunity to have service missionaries bring us the sacrament every Sunday. Kinlee loved when they came into her room and she cried happy tears every time. She had no idea what the sacrament was or really what was happening at all, but she FELT the sacrament and asked several times “what is this feeling in my chest”?  We got to explain to her that feeling is the spirit and what that means. Elder Patrick Kearon, said “To attend means to be present at. But to worship is to intentionally praise and adore our God in a way that transforms us!”  We weren’t attending actual Sacrament meetings while Kinlee was at the hospital but she, in her fragile state was able to worship and praise and so were we.

Now as we partake of the sacrament, it is most definitely with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and we understand our absolute dependence on the Savior.

We have seen His hand in so many things, the medical staff, the unexpected strength to get through another sleepless night, the therapists, the missionaries, the stranger who asked us outside of a California hospital if he could pray with us, the nurses who begged to be on Kinlee’s team because of the “feeling” in her room, the flight team that flew her from California to Utah and the people that made that flight possible, the doctor that helped save our Jerika’s life in 2024 who did everything in his power to make sure Kinlee was transported to a facility closer to home, the family, friends and others that gave up precious time out of their own lives to make our life more bearable, also the endless prayers and priesthood blessings that bring ultimate peace.

Like Nephi, my deepest desires through this storm has been to do everything possible to make life as comfortable for my daughter and family and to develop a deep, personal relationship with my Savior and be able to say with absolute conviction, “I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul.”

Taking care of Kinlee is the hardest thing our family has ever done. We cannot eliminate the struggles of mortality, and we cannot predict what tomorrow looks like. But because we have thrown the door wide open and invited the Savior into her hospital rooms and into our home, this difficult season has become sacred, sanctifying, and holy.

I agree with the testimony of President Johnson:

Jesus Christ is relief. He is our strength and our salvation.

I know with my whole heart that we can trust Him to be by our side during our deepest struggles, I have felt him by my side every day I know he is guiding us in everything we do, and is making our afflictions for our ultimate good.

I couldn’t do any of this without His help and the faith we as a family have in Him and His promises.

I say these things In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.