November 29 the rest of the busy day

This weekend was a dream. Not only were the kids here but my mom, Nakia, Brayli and Rylen came and of course Ash and Ollie. I knew after this my days of family were going to be fewer and Ray was going to have to go home during the week. Today is September 18 and I still struggle looking at these pictures. I can't believe how far she has come.

 

November 29 Morning

This was so good for my soul. Having the kids come for the weekend and we were able to actually leave the hospital for a night. That doesn't mean it was easy and a huge damper was put on it when we got a late night phone call from Blake's mom. This is the ONLY night he spent with her the entire time. (We should have known what was coming). Anyway, Ray and I usually slept right next to her bed and would keep her from falling off in the night (well all day too). But we thought we could leave Blake and his mom for 1 night to take care of her (with the help of the nurses). Blakes mom's exact words were "My son can't do this anymore he is going to have a heart attach". So, I called the facility and talked to a nurse (one of our favorite) and she was able to de-escalate the situation so we were able to stay the rest of the night. I know this was hard for Blake, it was hard for everyone, but his mom hasn't made him do anything hard his entire life and this was just another one of those things. 

But we had the best time with the kids, had breakfast and then went back to the facility. Our other kids were so supportive during this whole thing. Poor Landry had only known us for 2 years and during that time both of his sisters had almost died. I think they were troopers to stick around I think I might have ran the other direction. They are such a blessing and we love having them in our family.

 

I don't even know

Do you ever feel like your family would have been so much better if you'd never been born into it? No? I do every single day almost. I was even told once by a family member that I create my own drama. I'm trying to stay off social media and my latest issue can't be shared with my immediate family so here I am using my only outlet that I'm pretty sure nobody reads but me. The end. 

TODAY for a minute

 August 12 was really hard for me. I know everything isn't about me, but this is my blog and if I want to make it about me, I'm gonna do it. You don't have to read you can simply move on. August 12 is what would have been Kinlee's 3rd anniversary. I didn't say anything (well except to my Snapchat streaks) but not to Ray and especially not Kinlee. I didn't come into the office that day or Thursday, but came in today and was going through my calendar days I had missed. And this is what Wednesday's said and I couldn't agree more. I was sad for her and she didn't even know or care and so I am counting my blessings. She's in such a better place than she's EVER been and I think if this hadn't had happened, her marriage would not have lasted, but that is just my opinion I could be wrong. But every blessing I got and Ray got and Kinlee got said that her "event" happened for a reason. She has so much life ahead of her and we are watching her grow leaps and bounds every day. She walked a mile and a half with her therapist today and buttered her own toast. Things we never imagined her doing. So, I am not sad for her she's so freaking happy and I'm not sad for the life she left behind it wasn't a happy one for her. 

WE ARE COUNTING OUR BLESSINGS EVERY ONE!!!!

November 28

This dad is amazing. We literally had to lay on her sometimes to keep her in the bed. But once again, they say its a good sign. Nakia and Brayli came to visit. I'm telling you my "people" were amazing and the support we got was so good!!

 

November 27

It is almost impossible to keep this girl in her bed. She trashes like crazy so they are really keeping her more medicated than they would like until she gets through this phase.

Thanksgiving was so hard this year, but we have so much to be thankful for.

 

November 26

I can't even explain to you how hard these days were. She was so erratic, but we didn't want to keep her medicated all the time either. But, we along the the nurse practitioner decided it was best to keep her calm any way possible. They told us that her brain was waking up and this was a good thing, but so VERY hard to watch. We usually had one person on each side of the bed so she didn't kick herself out of bed. The meds worked sometimes but not all the time.

I'm sure in some of my posts before you heard me talk about the Gummows. Well, Sheila was the amazing woman that basically raised our kids and her daughters also helped with that. Shair lives in Bountiful and was so amazing to let us use her house to do whatever we needed, laundry food, sleeping, showering, all the things. Look how cute she is, she did all of this for us. We were able to leave the hospital at the same time because Blake and his mom were there. He would never tay alone so Ray and I didn't get many opportunities to just have a minute together. We knew the nurses would take good care of her, but they couldn't be in her room all the time so there was a chance she would fall out of bed and we couldn't have that.

Ray is so amazing and you can tell she knows when he is there. Dad of the year for sure. I could tell you who isn't dad of the year, but that does no good here.

Messages from home were my literal lifeline. Thank goodness for social media and video calls. The other picture shows how wild Kinlee got when she was trying to wake up, but SHE'S A FIGHTER!!!