Turn on your TACTOMETER please

I have started this post a few times in the last few days and I am not sure this one will make the cut either.  That being said, I am going to go ahead anyway and trudge onward.  There have been a few things happen around me lately that are truly tragic.  We have had some pretty sad things happen in our family over the last several years, but there have always been answers to our questions and with the help of a loving Heavenly Father we dealt with those events.  In having to deal with such things, I am an open book and most people know that about me.  If you ask me a question, I will most likely tell you the answer or let you know you are out of line for asking me that question.  Other people in my family are not like this at all, they are a closed book and don’t want anyone to know things that happen in their world.  My point being is that people are so different in the way they handle issues, tragedies or just life in general and we need to be respectful of the differences.  I follow a blog of a cute mom who lost a daughter several years ago.  Just recently she posted a list of appropriate things to say to people who had recently been dealing with the death of a loved one, and I looked for that list, but was unable to find it to share.  I wish I could be more precise in the reasons I am writing this post, but because of others and the respect I have for them, I will not stoop to that level.  However, I would ask that anyone that does read my blog be so careful in the questions you ask people who have suffered tragedies or even things you don’t believe qualify as tragedies, because people’s opinion on such matters do differ immensely.  Just remember when trying to console other people that you don’t live in their minds or their lives and you DON’T know how they feel, even if you have suffered something similar.  One thing that I would hope we could all remember also is that we don’t need to know the details of their tragedy and especially don’t ask for details.  I know I am not a certified counselor or anything close, but I think a little common sense goes a long way and we need to make sure we turn on what I call our tactometer when talking to people in need of our love and support.