I really want to just update my blog and live my life but that isn't the case right now. Life itself is sucking the life out of me if that even makes sense. I have shut this blog down so that others can't read it without permission because I don't know where else to go to write the feelings I'm having. I don't know if I can't continue with this fight. And lets be honest my life the last several years has been a fight. I feel like we have dragged our kids down with us and now Ray is wanting to just walk away and says he doesn't love me or deserve me. UGH
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