November 26

I can't even explain to you how hard these days were. She was so erratic, but we didn't want to keep her medicated all the time either. But, we along the the nurse practitioner decided it was best to keep her calm any way possible. They told us that her brain was waking up and this was a good thing, but so VERY hard to watch. We usually had one person on each side of the bed so she didn't kick herself out of bed. The meds worked sometimes but not all the time.

I'm sure in some of my posts before you heard me talk about the Gummows. Well, Sheila was the amazing woman that basically raised our kids and her daughters also helped with that. Shair lives in Bountiful and was so amazing to let us use her house to do whatever we needed, laundry food, sleeping, showering, all the things. Look how cute she is, she did all of this for us. We were able to leave the hospital at the same time because Blake and his mom were there. He would never tay alone so Ray and I didn't get many opportunities to just have a minute together. We knew the nurses would take good care of her, but they couldn't be in her room all the time so there was a chance she would fall out of bed and we couldn't have that.

Ray is so amazing and you can tell she knows when he is there. Dad of the year for sure. I could tell you who isn't dad of the year, but that does no good here.

Messages from home were my literal lifeline. Thank goodness for social media and video calls. The other picture shows how wild Kinlee got when she was trying to wake up, but SHE'S A FIGHTER!!!

 

July 4th

I really need to catch up so these aren't so crazy. Just feeling a little off today. I'd like to find a group of people who have had similar trauma and try to bond with them. However they need not be wealthy and are just using money to drown their pain on experiences, etc. We can't afford that kind of bonding. I've made a few new friends with similar experiences but they live far away. I'm just so thankful we still have our girl and she's amazing and so happy. Have a wonderful day everyone. 

November 25

The week before my dad died, Blake (my brother aka the good Blake as per Kinlee) he gave my dad a blessing and in the blessing it said "you will be okay". Well, while we were in Bountiful my mom had some skin cancer removed and Blake gave her a blessing. Nakia called me after the blessing and said that Blake said something in the blessing like this "Janice you are very concerned about someone right now and I want you to know that she will be okay in a satisfactory manner" which we interpreted that she would live, but still didn't know exactly how she would recover. 

Lets be clear. Ray and I stayed every night. Blake would always leave and go back to an airbnb or hotel. We understand this was so hard for him, please don't think that we didn't know that. I can't imagine at my age going through this with my spouse. But, here we are with our daughter and we will do EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER to get the best care for her and if that means sleeping at the facility with her every since night, we will do it. I tried to explain to people also that Blake hasn't really ha to make any decisions for himself, his mom and dad made them until Kinlee came along and what decisions his mom didn't still make for him Kinlee did. His dad even decided where he would work and got him a job. And not too shabby job either, he makes more than Ray and I put together and then double that. Another great thing about this place is the cafeteria, the food wasn't the greatest, but it was within walking distance so even when I was alone the nurses could watch her. And the best part was that there was FREE DIET DR. PEPPER. It was amazing and I was so thankful. I know crazy thing to be thankful for, but I was trying to find the positive in everything.

 

November 24

 

BJ & Carly came to visit for the weekend. They were Blake's friends that Kinlee starting hanging out with too. So, he got them in the divorce. Kinlee asks all the time why none of her friends come to visit. That is one of the reason we are going to be getting her counseling. It breaks my heart, but they did support us a lot when she was in Bountiful and so did BJ mom Christie, she was amazing. More to follow.

I can't remember who brought her these flowers. I have decided there are a lot of things I don't remember. People told me to make sure I was writing things down and some things I did but wish I would have written more. I was so exhausted in my down time that I couldn't do it most days.

See the craziness below from the earlier part of this day when we had to load her up and take her for the MRI. The night nurse came in that night and said "I'm so sorry to hear about her MRI results". I was like what are you talking about because all the Nurse Practitioner (Tyler) said was like I said above. The nurse Ryan, who was amazing BTW he bought us slippers and was so good with Ray and Blake, anyway he said "the MRI was really bad, half of her brain is basically dead and maybe Tyler didn't want to upset you.

I don't understand why all of the sudden all of these load out of order, but it is what it is and I'm not going to download them one at a time to make sure it doesn't happy. The MRI was crazy. I followed the ambulance to the hospital which was only 1 block away. But, she was so freaking restless, it was like she didn't want us to know how bad her brain really was. Blake was in town and met me up there later, but after the nurse had come twice from Western Peaks to bring different meds to calm her down. But, they were able to ge the MRI. I'm not sure if I have anything in the following pictures about the insurance company and how getting the MRI cause even more problems. DID I MENTION INSURANCE COMPANIES SUCK, YES YES I DID. They took one look at her MRI and said she would never get better. I REALLY WISH I COULD SEND THOSE IDIOTS OF VIDEO OF HER NOW. At this point they wanted to just move her to a long term care facility and give up on her. Luckily our team at Western Peaks made sure that didn't happen. They did so much to keep her there and then so much to get her transferred to the best place UofU that would help her.

November 23

Once again out of order, start at the bottom. Did I mention we love the people here? 

Maybe I should have kept track of what was happening. I'm sure ray would probably remember something. But, who even imagined that cute nurse would become a Life Long friend. Val was and still is amazing!! We love her...Kinlee LOVES her and she even came to visit Kinlee several times at the University of Utah. She made staying here every day during the week, while Ray was at work, bearable.

November 22

                                        

People were so good. We had people bringing us food and everything else you can think of. It was so nice being closer to home but also having family and friends so close. It was such a blessing having her moved to Utah and I will NEVER not say it was a miracle.

 

November 21

Brenna tried and tried to get all the snarls out of Kinlee's hair. But, then we decided that it would be best to just cut it. The only person that disagreed with us was the Nurse Practitioner. Everyone else could see it getting caught in tubes and wires and everything else around her. It also would upset her every time someone tried to comb it or do anything with it.

BTW WE LOVE THIS PLACE THE PEOPLE ARE AMAZING AND SO GOOD TO OUR GIRL.

Blake was on the phone quite a bit, but would usually leave the room. 

I was so thankful Jerika could stay for a few days. 

MY HEART NEEDED HER AND SHE NEEDED US.

I don't know why this screenshot was on this day, but I thought since it was there I would share it again.

NIGHTMARE AFTER NIGHTMARE.

There was a lot of googling during Kinlee's stay. I know the nurses got tired of me asking so many questions, but I wanted to know EVERYTHING and why certain things were happening. But some times I just decided to look online.