I came across this today

You may not like me or think I deserve the things that happen to me, but NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY should have to go through this kind of nightmare, especially twice. Going through my photo log today (because I am going to get it updated with all of Kinlee's recovery), I came across this picture.  WOW it is hard to look at, but here is what I have to say about it.

When we were in California I did this side by side of my 2 children. Jerika on the left, Kinlee on the right. I am really not a WHY ME kind of person, like I have said before but I am exhausted. You just never know what is coming next in life. And Boy have we had more than our share of doozies. But, THEY ARE BOTH ALIVE and I know some people aren't as lucky. So, today I consider myself to be very lucky. 

I LOVE THESE GIRLS.

 

Update among other things

I know you all want to see and hear about how Kinlee's doing and she's doing great. We still have some kinks to work out like getting any money from the government to help us, but that takes time. We have one last training today to hopefully start getting paid for our CFH (Certified Family Home) which is something we needed to do to keep Kinlee in our home and under our care. She still doesn't know simple things. She would never eat if she didn't have us. She has no concept of how all of that works. We are teaching her to get her own ice and water from the fridge and that has been a process too. But, we do know she can be taught and remember some things (not everything). She has no concept of time or days of the week. She can identify the numbers 1, 2, 3 and the letters A and B. She still can't write her name and really can't much at all, but is working to hard every day. She has visual agnosia and doesn't recognize anyone in any pictures at all. Those are just a few of the things we are dealing with. But we know that she can learn and it will take time and she's only 25 she has time. But let me tell that our girl is a complete delight. She is so happy and loves learning. She very seldom gets upset except when she can't do something she is trying to hard to do or when we make her eat and she doesn't want to. We are hoping with her kidney stone gone, that will get better with time as well. And boy does she love Chick-fil-a. WE LOVE HAVING HER SWEET SPIRIT IN OUR HOME

Last week after I made a post of Facebook I got a nasty text saying how dare I imply Blake wasn't a good husband. I will tell you that Blake was an amazing husband until he wasn't, see the letter in the post below. I have had so much grace for Blake this entire time and I have said numerous times that I don't even know what I would do at this age if something happened to my spouse. So, at his age it is even harder. However, he let his parents take over which made it impossible to deal with any of them. It didn't have to end the way it did, but they chose to get nasty. Which is so sad and we know he was just doing like he was told (like most of the other decisions in his life). The text I got also said I was lying about everything. But, I want to just state for the record I have proof of everything I have said, because there is absolutely no reason to lie about anything. We are good people and the people who are calling us the bad are feeling guilty about the way they handled everything. I will end with the following sentence and context of a post I shared on Facebook.

I DID NOT HAVE TO END THIS WAY!!

Judas is a reminder that betrayal does not always come from strangers.

Sometimes it comes from people who sat at your table, heard your prayers, knew your struggles, and still chose to hurt you.

Jesus shared meals with Judas.

Walked beside him.

Trusted him.

Loved him.

Yet Judas still betrayed Him with a kiss.

That is why some of the deepest pain in life comes from those we never expected to wound us.

The ones we welcomed into our lives.

The ones we prayed with and cared for.

The ones we believed would always be loyal.

But even in betrayal, God is still sovereign.

What hurt you did not surprise Him.

What broke your heart did not escape His notice.

And just as God carried Jesus through betrayal, He will carry you too.

Do not let betrayal harden your heart.

Let it make you wiser, stronger, and more dependent on God.

Because people may fail you, but the Lord never will.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3

Welcome

 Welcome to those of you who are new here. I have had this blog since 2008 and I really try to keep it updated regularly. My main focus the last few weeks was letting those of you who wanted to know what happened with Kinlee's husband and why she got divorced could read it here. I was leery after I posted the first post and then I removed the most detained one. After talking to our attorney I can tell our story however I want because none of it is a lie, even though his family is denying a lot of what we have said.

The Letter

The Condensed Version

"YOU GOT HER."

Those are the words her mom heard clearly while praying the other night, trying to let go of the anger over the injustice done to her child. And it’s true. Her parents have her. She is safe, she is thriving, and she is surrounded by people who actually love her.

Many of you have been asking: "What happened with her husband?"

The short answer is heartbreaking. We knew early on that if her recovery was long, we wouldn't judge him for needing to move on—he is young. But we were wrong about his character. While they all were in California, we heard the conversations with his father telling him to come home and go back to work because she was "no longer his problem."

Sadly, he chose that path. He didn't spend a single night alone with her during her entire hospitalization. When she got home to Idaho, he essentially held her life hostage.

The Reality of the Last Few Months:

• The "Hostage" Situation: He refused to give her clothes, shoes, or personal items back. They had to buy her an entirely new wardrobe because he claimed he "couldn't find" her things.

• The Blackmail: He used the threat of a Guardianship battle to force them into a divorce settlement that favored him. We know she wouldn't even recognize him if they passed on the street, yet he used his legal status as her husband to squeeze her financially.

• The Financial Blow: Despite claiming he would help, he took $ out of his retirement which effectively wiped out any tax refund she would get as per the Divorce Decree. He walked away with the savings and community property, leaving his disabled wife with nothing but her car and her personal belongings.

• The Lies: His family has been spreading rumors that she "deserved" this for having surgery, or that I am "manipulating" her recovery.

To the people saying these things: we have the documentation. We have the emails, the texts, and the recorded calls. We chose to sign the Divorce "stipulation" not because it was fair, but because we wanted him out of her life before the Guardianship hearing. We traded money for her peace.

The Good News: The divorce was finalized this week. We finally got her personal items back. When she saw her things and got her phone back, she cried.

To HIM: You had every chance to just walk away with grace. Instead, you chose to be unkind to a woman you promised to love in sickness and in health and to love honor and cherish.

What a difference one day can make

Kinlee went to Mexico to have gastric sleeve surgery. I know she was worried about going so I was worried for her.

This was my snap the morning she had Surgery.

This was that evening after the surgery. She Facetimed us and was doing awesome. Considering she had just had surgery.

This was her BeReal the morning after her surgery. It was right after this that she told Blake she didn't feel good and she passed out. She suffered some sort of cardiac event and her heart stopped beating. They gave her CPR for 22 minutes and shocked her heart twice. They were able to get her heart going again, but the damage was done. 22 very long minutes without oxygen to her brain. Blake called Ray and his mom and they booked flights to California because the hospital she was in was getting her transported there, either by air or regular ambulance. Well, that took forever, but they did get her across the boarder before Ray and Blake's mom arrived at the Sharp Chula Vista Hospital. I stayed home so that Ray could assess the situation and make sure we both needed to be there. We knew she was still alive but that was about all. Come to find out Blake had to pay the hospital $6000 to get them to release her so they could transfer her to the USA. Luckily his dad had an account hooked to his and they were able to get that done. He also had to pay the ambulance people $550 to transport her to the US. When he didn't have it in cash, they were going to take her back into the hospital until he got the money. Also luckily one of the administrators at the hospital gave him the cash to pay them so she could get the help she needed. While Ray was still in the air and I was home with Jerika, Lyvi, mom and Nakia feeling totally helpless, I decided she needed a blessing. Jerika googled LDS churches in Chula Vista California and only one came up. It had a picture of the church and a phone number so we called the phone number and someone actually answered. Now if you know about phones in the LDS churches, you know they frequently go unanswered for some unknown reason. Well, someone answered the phone. He talked to others around him and then he gave me the number to the missionaries. I called the number and they didn't answer, so Nakia sent them a text. They called me back shortly after that and asked what they could do to help. I had already called Blake to make sure they would let them into the Emergency Room to give her a blessing and they said yes. So, when they called me I told them what had happened and where she was and that she desperately needed a blessing. And they said they would head right over there. They texted me back about an hour later and told me they had found her and given her a blessing and they felt like everything would be alright. I want to make a list of miracles through this and maybe I will do it at the end of each post.  Ray and Blake's mom got there about 10 that night. Ray said that when they got there the ER doctor told him she most likely wouldn't make it through the night. They did a lot in the ER that evening and got her stabilized and got her moved to the ICU. Ray called me about 2 am and I just knew he was calling to tell me she was gone. But it was just to tell me they got her into a room and they were leaving to go to the hotel. In the ICU there nobody could stay with the patient after 8:00 pm, which we thought was crazy. Someone was able to stay with Jerika at night when she was in the ICU. But we complied which was good because we at least were able to try to sleep.

Miracles: She was in a hospital and they were able to start CPR immediately, Blake's dad was able to transfer the money, the hospital administrator giving them $550, the ambulance was smoking when it got to the hospital so the fact they made it is a miracle, Jerika finding that exact church to call, the missionaries answering the phone, the missionaries actually finding the right hospital (even the life flight team went to the wrong hospital), she is alive.

 

WE ARE HOME

 One of these days I will update everything on here from Kinlee's NIGHTMARE cardiac arrest.

Today I am here to vent and since nobody reads my blog its a good place and I just want to get it off my chest.

We are trying to certify our home so Jerika can take care of Kinlee and get paid to do it. At least that is what I think we are doing THIS PROCESS IS CRAZY. One person says we can use one company and they will pay her and keep track of all of Kinlee's expenses for us. Another person says if she's approved for disability they will pay for her care. Another person says we have to get our home certified and we all get paid to take care of her.  I DON'T FREAKING KNOW WHAT BELIEVE. Her husband decided to jump ship. We are fine with that he is young, but he wants 30 days to really decide. During that 30 days we aren't allowed to contact him or anyone in his family while he decides what to do. In the meantime holding all of her possessions except for a few things he had brought to Utah and some underwear and sweatshirts he brought to the house. So, we've had to buy her new clothes, shoes, everyday items and other things that we are certain he has in storage. She's been wearing my clothes.

The rest of life before Kinlee's Cardiac Arrest

 

More Fun Lyvi started Preschool etc

 

Kinlees Surprise Birthday Party

 

More Life

 

Lyvis Birthday